


Keep Smiling

by Fergs



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 06:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15382560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fergs/pseuds/Fergs
Summary: Izaya finds out that he has cancer, he has to decide whether he gets treatment and hopes he gets cured. Or spend it with Shizuo living on the edge till the very end.Originally posted on Wattpad





	1. The News

My throat was burning and tasted like vomit.... I couldn't see either, I was blinded by my own tears.  
"I'm sorry for giving you such bad news..."  
The doctor continued to babble on, I couldn't listen. Not to anything any more. I just wanted to run.... run away, scream and just break down. With no one around me.... I jumped at his touch, Shizu-chan wrapped his arms around me and sobbed, this may have not been the first time I've seen this man cry but it hurt.... everything just began to hurt... all the happiness we had... everything good in life just disappeared and I was left with this disease that could kill me. I know I wanted to die before... but not now.... I'm happy.... I was happy....

~one week before~  
"Ughhh I seriously hate hospitals...."  
Shizu-chan continued to fidget and moan at me whilst I was having a check up and tests done.  
"Would you rather let me drop dead in the middle of the from an un-known illness?"  
Shizu-chan glared then growled "Iza... don't say shit like that..."  
"That's why I'm here, to make sure it won't happen." I laughed at him as he looked down and sighed.  
"Aaannd all done! You're free to leave but please book an appointment for you to collect your results. So in about a weeks time." The nurse chimed at me as she finishes, putting some cotton ball on my jab wound. I jumped off the doctors table and wobbled a little, of course Shizu-chan got up ready to catch me  
"I'm fine!~" I waved my hand which made him frown "Just a little dizzy from having my precious blood being removed!~"  
I walked out of the room and over to reception. Shizu-chan stood by the entrance still fidgeting about. I made my appointment and headed for the exit  
"Come on!.... lets get out of here already..." Shizu-chan continued to growl at me and I just laughed at him.

~present time~  
"Wh- what did you say?...."  
"I'm sorry Mr Orihara... it's bad news... you have cancer..." The doctor repeated slowly and clearly. "We can start treatment straight away if you wish."  
I sat there frozen... Shizu-chan just kept a hold of me crying.... just continuously crying. I couldn't breath... speak... or do anything... I was paralysed... by my own.... fear?...  
Eventually I pushed Shizu-chan off me and ran out the room. All I could hear was Shizu-chan shouting  
"Izaya! Wait!"  
Continuously he was behind me shouting, I ended up slowing down. I fell to my knees and just screamed, I screamed to the point my throat was raw and my voice was gone. Shizu-chan held me, not saying a thing. Not even 'It'll be okay Iza...' or 'We'll get through this'. All I could hear was the pair of us silently crying, I knew it wasn't going to be okay.... nothing ever will be from now on....


	2. The Confession

~ Two years before ~  
"IIIIIZZZAAAAAYYYAAAAAAA!"  
And there he was, Shizu-chan was charging towards me like a raging bull but nothing in hand like a trash can or lamp post.  
"Ah~ Shizu-chan! How nice to see you, empty handed this time?~" I teased him like usual, main reason why, I was bored and I just wanted to see this guy.  
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! OR DO YOU NEED ME TO IMPRINT IT ON YOU SOMEWHERE SO YOU STAY AWAY?! YOU STUPID FLEA!"  
Before I realised it, he was towering over me, breathing heavy. But he didn't look angry... I looked him in the eyes  
"But I wanted some sushi and to see if you were still patrolling the area like that stupid cop." I chuckled. He sighed then mumbled something in audible. I placed me ear close to his mouth with my hand against it  
"Say that again? I'm still a little deaf from your shouting before."  
"... I said.... MOVE AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I DO SOMETHING REGRETTABLE!"  
He shouted in my ear and I fell back from the shock  
"Has someone not had their milk today?~" I smirked at him then stood and brushed my coat off.

Before I realised it I was being dragged by my hand, by Shizu-chan.  
"H- hey! What are you doing?!"  
He continued to pull my arm, I didn't know where we were going. I tried pull my arm back, then I realised. We were by his apartment. I knew where Shizu-chan lived and I knew that's where we were heading.  
"Ohh!~ So it's changed from trying to murder me with trash cans to going straight to your place now?"  
He turned his head slightly and glared at me but continued to drag me.   
Once we were there, he swung his front door open, threw me in then slammed it shut. I gained my balance back and turned to see him looming over me, I looked up at him and in the eyes then gulped. I was now scared of what Shizu-chan was going to do to me...

Shizuos POV  
I don't know what I'm doing.... I dragged this flea all the way to my house unconsciously and now I'm just stood in front of him!  
"Shizu-chan?~" he smirked "lost in thought are we? Thinking about what to do with this place and me once I'm dead?"  
That's it! Anger boiled in me more. I picked him up and put him over my shoulder.  
"Ohhh this is new!~" he continued to sing in that annoying tone.  
"Shut up..." I took him into my living room and chucked him on the couch. I lost my balance and ended up landing on top of him. I look down at him, h- he's blushing?! I smirk and next thing I know I'm inching closer to his lips.

Izayas POV  
WAIT! WAIT THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! I closed my eyes and felt Shizu-chans press against mine, I tried to push him off, he didn't budge. I soon gave in and we continued to kiss, he pulled away and looked at me. His eye's were half open and filled with lust, even the slightest of pink was dusted across his cheeks.  
"Iza..." he whispered my name, after that my mind went blank. I woke the next morning with Shizu-chan by my side, I felt happy.


	3. I'm Sorry Shizuo

"I-.... I- I can't.... I can't Shizu...."  
I cried into his shoulder, he kept hold of me but just about got his own words out of his mouth  
"Wh- what?...."  
I pushed him off me with full force, I didn't face him. I couldn't.  
"I can't play this little game anymore... I'm bored~"  
I cleared my face up and turned to look at him. He stared at me in disbelief and horror  
"What? What do you m- mean?"  
"You know what I mean, our little game of house. I'm dying so you should be happy. Well I'm off to find some other type of fun until I end up dropping dead~" I laughed at him, turned back around and walked off. I couldn't here anything from him, then there was a huge crash. I slowly turned and looked at Shizu-chan in horror. He was tearing the whole place apart, not caring who was around or who he hit, he just ripped things out the ground and threw them at walls or buildings.... I finally broke him.... his anger was out of complete control, he wasn't just angry... he was crying too. Then all of a sudden something like a piece of concrete hurdled towards me. I couldn't move in time. After that I can't remember, I couldn't see anything.

"I-..... Iza-..... Izaya!!..... Izaya! Wake-.... Zaya! Wake up!... please! Wak-..."  
I woke up but my head was ringing, I could hear someone shouting at me but I'm not sure who it was or what they were saying, then I passed back out.

I slowly opened my eyes only to see the ceiling of my room, I went to sit up but was met with a shot of pain all over my body.  
"Izaya-kun... please don't move too much..." Shinra was stood at the end of my with a clipboard, he was writing on it.  
"Ah fuck.... what... what happened? Did I actually finally get hit by one of Shizu-chans obstacles?" Shinra giggled then pointed with his pen to the space beside my bed, I looked down to see Shizu-chan sleeping beside my bed, he was sat on chair a leaning over onto the bed.  
"Why is he still here? If everything wasn't a dream he shouldn't-"  
"Because I love you Izaya, don't expect me to go because you're ill. I know you love me too, you don't need to push me away. I'll be by your side, always."  
I looked towards where Shizu-chan was, he was sat up and took hold of my hand.  
"Shi- Shizu... I'm sorry..." I started to cry, I couldn't control it. I didn't want to cry, not in front of him, I didn't want to hurt him anymore. He shook his head and tried to pull a smile which was a sad and failed effort.  
"I'm the one who should be sorry." He looks down at the floor "I put you in this state..."  
"Shizu it's okay. I love you..."  
He looked up at me with wide eyes  
"Iza..." he leaned over and hugged me, I hugged him back, I cried into his shoulder and he just kept hold of me and stroked my head, I soon calmed down and fell back to sleep.


	4. Stay By My Side

"Are you sure you're okay to walk? You're still recovering and Shinra told you not to push yourself..."  
I was walking beside Shizu-chan towards the hospital, I re-arranged an appointment about treatment. I say 're-arranged' but I mean Shizu-chan forced me to.   
"Most people will be happier if I dropped dead then stuck around a little longer."  
Shizu-chan glared at me "Izaya don't say shit like that! I don't want to go to the hospital either but you need to." He slowed down as we approached the enterance, I smirked at him  
"Come on Shizu~ I need to make to my appointment in time" I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the hospital, I heard him quietly growl my name as we entered, I let go once we were inside. I then spoke to the nurse at the desk, sat down and waited. Waited for the doctor that gave me the bad news to help me, yet that help is useless.

"Izaya Orihara?" I looked up to see the doctor smiling at me. It was a kind offering smile but a fake, businessman type. The ones you couldn't trust but you are still lured in by them. I hesitated then stood and walked towards him, he continued to smile.  
"Follow me please." He turned and walked down the hall. I followed but I walked as slow as my legs could, Shizu-chan was by my side. He grabbed my hand and intwined our fingers then squeezed it gently, I squeezed back and looked up at him. I tried to smile but was a failed effort, he squeezed my hand again and said in a soft whisper "It's going to be okay."  
I just looked ahead and followed the doctor. Once we got to the room he held the door open, I hesitated but then entered and stood close to the door  
"You can sit down if you'd like"  
The doctor sat across from us with only a desk to separate us. Us. Me and Shizu-chan... he was here with me but I still felt alone... But when have I not been alone?...

"Izaya?" Shizu-chan stared at me, worry started to fill his eyes. I shook my head and smiled like everything was okay.  
"Sorry!~ Started day dream" I tried to laugh, it sounded like my usual laugh. Fake. I ignored Shizu-chan's gaze on me and sat down, he stood for a minute just looking at me then decided to sit in the seat next to mine.  
"Well," the doctor started with a smile "as you already know Izaya, we will start off with some more test and find the best option for treatment. Usually it would be chemotherapy but it also depends on what cancer you have..." the doctor continued to babble on about the types of cancer and what treatments there are. I couldn't take it, just let me die already. Who would care? No one. I have nobody there for me, not even Shizu-chan. He'll move on eventually, everyone does.

"So, shall we start by doing some more tests?" The doctor was still smiling at me, his smile was either painted on or was a mask. He didn't frown or pull any other facial expression, nothing but that fake smile was on his face.  
"Will I be able to find out how long I have left? Without treatment?" I asked the doctor, my face was emotionless. I didn't try to smile nor did I frown, I stared with no emotion to show. The doctor finally frowned  
"I'm sorry Izaya? Do you not want treatment?"  
"No."  
"Iza-..." Shizu-chan began to speak but sighed instead, he knew I wouldn't change my mind. I have no reason to stick around on this earth, no one would care anyway.  
"We'll start with some tests and see how severe the cancer is then. Treatment might work if it's not so serious, you may reconsider." The doctor stood up "I need to book an MRI scan and some other tests, I'll be back in a moment" he leaves, closing the door behind him quietly. I then turned and stared at Shizu-chan who was already looking at me.

Shizous POV  
I stared Izaya in the eyes, his face was emotionless. I've never seen him like this before, he always had that cocky grin slapped on. He shifted in his seat then moved over and hugged me, at first I was shocked but I hugged him back.  
"Shizu.... please.... please promise me something..." he whispered, I knew in his voice he was scared.  
"What is it?"  
He pulled away and looked at me again, his face was now filled with sadness.  
"Promise me you'll stay by my side?"  
I tried to smile, just a little to reassure him.  
"Of course I will."  
He hugged me again, burying his face into my shoulder, it started to become damp. His body shook and clung to me as he cried.


	5. Treatment

Izayas POV  
I was again at the hospital, this place became a second home to me now. I've remembered the names of all the nurses that work at reception and even some who'd aided me as I waited for the doctor. We're in the same room once again talking about my treatment, do I have it or not?  
"The cancer is treatable." The doctor smiled at me, I continued to stare at him with no emotion on my face.  
"I don't want treatment. I told you before, I'm not having it"  
Shizu-chan took my hand and stared at me with a frown  
"Iza-"  
"No Shizu, I'm not having it. I'm not changing my mind either. I don't want it..." I stood and left the room, leaving Shizu-chan and the doctor in complete confusion and hurt. I rushed down the hall and out of the hospital, there I saw Celty hanging around playing on her phone like she'll usually do. I approached her with a usual smile  
"Celty! How nice to see you here! Are you on a job for Shinra?"  
She looked up at me then back down at her phone and typed, turned it around and showed me  
No actually. I'm here to pick you up, Shizuo has been talking to Shinra about your cancer. Shinra wants to talk to you about it too, he is your doctor after all.  
I frowned "Celty look. I've said this from the beginning I'm not having treatment." I look behind and point to mid air "look! It's that cop you're so scared of!" Celty jumped up and turned around, as she did I laughed then ran from her before she could notice I was gone.

Instead of heading home I walked around Ikebukuro for a while. That was until I heard the all to familiar  
"IIZZAAAAAYYAAAA!!" I froze on the spot and turned slowly trying to smile. "Ah Shizu-..." He was storming towards me. This time there wasn't a lamp post in hand or anything... he wasn't angry but crying...  
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! I'VE BEEN SEARCHING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU!" I couldn't move, I just stared at him in shock. Once he was in front of me all he did was wrap his arms around me and hugged me.  
"Don't.... Don't you ever leave me like that.... I promised I'll stay by your side didn't I?"  
I just stood there... my body was limp in his arms yet I was still able to stand, tears started to stream down my face. I hugged him back and cried into his shoulder, I didn't care who was watching me anymore. I can't take this 'I'm always happy' act any longer. The show is finished. People can see how I truly am.


	6. Our Last Christmas

Months has passed since I first refused treatment, I still am. Shinra tried to convince me that I need it, everyone did... Even Namie tried, I wouldn't change my mind. Throughout I've been getting more and more sick.... it's slowly breaking Shizu-chan to see me like this, he still begs me to try treatment and I still refuse. But today is a day everyone is supposed to love... Christmas...

"Merry Christmas Iza..."  
He handed me a small box and smiled, I looked up at him then down at the box, I took it from him and opened it. A small golden ring glistened under the Christmas lights, my eyes widened and I looked up at Shizu-chan  
"Is.... Is this..." I smiled the biggest smile my mouth could stretch. I jumped out of my seat and hugged Shizu-chan, he stumbled but regained his balance and held onto me  
"Woah! Careful... I take it you like it then?" He laughed, I pulled back and smiled at him, I couldn't stop smiling.  
"Yes! Thank you! Thank you Shizu! I love you!"  
He smiled back  
"I love you too. Also I have a matching one, but look, I have our Initials engraved on them."  
He held his hand up and shown me, he was already wearing his. I looked at it closer and my initials were engraved onto his ring, I quickly looked at the one I was given. Shizu-chans initials were engraved on that one.  
"Wait! We have each others?!"  
He laughed again "yes Iza... They're not engagement rings but promise rings..." he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I continued to smile, I took my ring out the box and put it on.

Shizuos POV  
I laid on the sofa with Izaya on my chest. His hand in the air as he stared at the shining gold ring on his finger.  
"Iza..."  
He turned around and looked at me, his red ruby eyes were shining bright with pure happiness. This was the first time, in a long time, I've seen him happy. His eyes were no longer dull and his face wasn't pale with dark circles under his eyes.  
"Yes~" He sang but then yawned and rubbed his eyes "mmm I'm getting tired..." he laid his head down onto my chest. I continued to smile and stroked his head.  
"Sleep." He smiled then slowly fell asleep.

I soon woke, there wasn't the usual heavy feeling on my chest, I opened my eyes, sat up and stretched. Looking around the room Izaya was no where in sight.  
"Izaya?" I waited but no response, I stood and went into the kitchen. He wasn't there either so I started to walk around the apartment, I then heard quiet noises coming from the bathroom. I go over and the door is cracked open. I push it open fully to see Izaya leaning over the toilet throwing up, he soon stops and wipes his mouth.  
"Izaya...." he jumps, turns his head to look at me. His happiness from earlier had already faded.... his eyes were glossed with tears and were dull, his face pale and dark rings under his eyes.

Izayas POV  
Shizu-chan stared at me, sympathy and guilt filled his eyes but his face remained relaxed and un-moved. I looked away from him and shook my head  
"D- don't..... Don't look at me like that...."  
".... Like what?..." he responded, his voice quivered but he tried to hide it.  
"....... that look..... everyone gives me that same look...... I hate it...." I looked at Shizu-chan, his eyes were wide, the guilt and sympathy gone. Only to be replaced with hurt and anger  
"Izaya..." He pauses then sighs "actually don't worry about it... do you want help back to your bed?"  
I stood, my legs felt like jelly and my head weighed a ton. I stumbled past Shizu-chan and towards my bedroom  
"I'm fine. I can walk on my own..." he stood in the same place and watched me stumble down the hall and to my room. Once inside I stumbled and fell into my bed, curled up and covered myself so I didn't have to see or hear Shizu-chan's apologies. I soon heard his footsteps and the front door open and close, the apartment was quiet and still. I eventually drifted into a deep sleep that I'll hopefully awake from.


	7. Our Last Christmas Part Two

Shizuos POV  
I stomped around Shinjuku, thinking about what I could do to make Izaya better... I ended up at a park and sat on the bench, took a drag of my cigarette and pulled out my phone and called Shinra  
"MERRY CHRISTMAS SHIZUO-KUN!!" I pulled the phone away from my ear for a minute whilst Shinra shouted at the top of his lungs then put it back once he had calmed  
"Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too. Listen Shinra... Izaya's getting worse, I don't know what to do... he keeps pushing me away..." Shinra paused for a minute, thinking most likely  
"Hmm well there's not much you can do. You just need to be there for him, you have to accept that he won't have treatment. Yes, it will be hard but he needs you more than anything. You can't just look at him with pity when he doesn't want it, that's probably why he's pushing you away." I listened to Shinra then thought, he's right. I shouldn't just be out here pissed off because I can't change his mind, I need to change mine.  
"Shizuo-kun?"  
"Yeah? I'm here, just thinking." I sighed "I'll see you around Shinra, tell Celty I said Merry Christmas" I hung the phone up and and put it back in my pocket. Finished my cigarette and went back to the apartment.

Izayas POV  
I woke to warmth wrapped around me, it was clear I wasn't dead. But for the first time ever I was happy, happy I woke up, alive. I opened my eyes to see Shizu-chans arms wrapped tightly around me. I turned my head slightly to see Shizu-chan's to be buried in my shoulder, I could hear his soft breathing next to my ear. I slowly and carefully turned my body to face him then buried my face in his chest. I breathed in his sweet sent, it was always sweet, not sickly but something. Shizu-chan shifted slightly then started mumbling in his sleep, I listened trying to figure out what he was saying.  
"Iza..... don't...... don't leave me.... again.... please.... I love you.... Iza.... Iz-" he jumped and woke, I looked up at him and looked down at me then squeezed me tightly and hid his face in my hair. I could feel his breathing was heavy, it slowly stared to calm. I pulled away once he was calm and looked up at him  
"Shizu?... are you okay?" I looked at him a little worried, he just stared down at me then eventually tried to pull a smile  
"Yeah... just a little nightmare that's all..."  
I buried my face into his chest and mumbled "okay" he kept hold of me and we stayed like that for rest of the night.

Once morning came he was gone... my bed felt cold and empty, I opened my eyes and looked around to a dark empty room. Dread filled my heart until my bedroom door creaked open and Shizu-chan walked in holding a tray smiling, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and looked at him.  
"Morning, I made breakfast" he smiled at me then set the tray down on my lap  
"Morning...." I looked down at the tray and it was filled with delicious looking foods, I smiled a little "did you make this?"  
"Of course I did! You need to be able to cook if you live alone, it's a basic necessity..."  
I tensed up a little and ate "yeah it is... this food's really good"  
Shizu-chan paused and stared at me "you can't cook, can you?" He was trying to hold back a laugh, you could tell by the small smirk he was fighting off. I stopped eating and looked away "so what if I can't... I never needed to if I had Namie or take away..."  
He laughed and shook his head, I watched happily then went back to eating...

Next is New Year... let's hope that'll be better and some of our prayers will be heard...


	8. I Pray For You To Be Happy, Always

I've never really bothered going to shrines or anything for New Year, I always thought it was pointless. God would never listen to someone like me and I had no need to pray for anyone.  
"Hurry up~ if we go any later it'll get crowded..." I shouted out to Shizu-chan as he was still getting ready to leave, like usual he "broke" his alarm clock and didn't get up.  
"I'm coming! Just be patient will you... geez, you couldn't be anymore annoying than before, could you?" He came down the hall and rushed to put his shoes and coat on. The only time he wore something different was a coat and scarf because of the cold, of course he still wore the bartender outfit underneath. I couldn't complain since I wear the same thing, day in day out, just had more than one, same as Shizu-chan.  
"Let's go..." Shizu-chan mumbled and walked past me in a humph, I followed locking his apartment door behind. I caught up with him and walked by his side  
"Someone's grumpier than usual~" I chimed to Shizu-chan and he glared at me from the corner of his eye  
"We never bothered celebrating New Year so why should we bother this year? It's pointless and you just get stuck in between a crowd of annoying bastards." He growled at me, it was clear that he never bothered with New Year because he clearly hated it  
"... I wanted to go since this is my LAST year, I want to make the most of it..." I mumbled to Shizu-chan, he sighed then took hold of my hand and kept walking  
"This is the only year I'm going to bother celebrating... 'New Year, new you' is what a lot of people say. Yeah, more like New Year, new bullshit to deal with. Things do change in time but who even cares? What's the point of it all? We'll just die sooner or later and things will still change, the only thing that doesn't is the time of when you're going to die. It's unpredicted but also unstoppable"  
I went quiet.... I couldn't say anything, what could I say? THAT came from Shizu-chans mouth... from HIS mind... and here I thought he was just some idiot who only knew what anger and violence was...

Shizuo's POV  
Izaya was finally quiet... he didn't say anything for rest of the journey, probably shocked because I finally said something meaningful... I've always thought those things but never said them... it just pisses me off when people try and praise me or some shit. Once the shrine was in sight I sighed, the place wasn't packed but still had people there... this already pisses me off.  
"Are you glad we came a earlier now? There's not many people here"  
Izaya continued to walk forward but glanced at me with that stupid grin he use to do... it pisses me off....  
"Yeah... let's just get on with this..." I grumbled and slowed down as we got closer. Once we were at the shrine we said our prayers and made donations then headed back home.  
"So what did you pray for?"  
Izaya held my hand as we walked back, I looked at him, his cheeks and nose red from the cold, I chuckled and looked forward  
"For you to get better and for my families health and happiness"  
"The same as everyone else?" I could hear the smirk in his voice and tease.  
"Yeah. So what? It's all I can pray for... what about you then?" I looked at Izaya again, he glanced at me then away and said nothing but a small mumble  
"I didn't hear that, speak up~" I decided to tease Izaya back, just to make him feel how I do. Just when he was about to speak there was aloud squeal.  
"AHH!! You both came to a shrine to pray!! That's soooo cute and couple like!!~" We both froze on the spot and slowly turned to see Erica fangirling with Walker.  
"Erica calm down a little... you'll faint again if you get too excited" Walker started to panic a little as Erica continued to squeal like a pig on heat.  
She soon shut up and they left, we went back to the apartment and watched a movie. Izaya ended up falling asleep half way through so I took him to bed and quietly left the apartment.


	9. It's Nice To Meet You

It's the middle of July, summer. It's too damn hot... I scoffed the ice cream I had in my hand as I walked back to Izaya's room whilst holding his iced coffee against my forehead, it cooled me down a lot. I finished my ice cream by the time I got there, I opened the door to hear what sounded like a girl giggling. I looked into the room to see a girl around the age of five sat on the bed opposite Izaya, she was smiling and giggling whilst Izaya was talking. He looked tired, his face couldn't be more pale or thin. He's reached his limit... That's all I could think... He looked over at me and smiled a little  
"Welcome back. I thought you were getting an ice cream too?"  
"I ate it already... It's too damn hot, I needed something to cool me down quickly"  
I walked into the room and held out his coffee for him, he took it from me with shaky sloppy hands  
"Makes sense.... Thank you"  
I look at the girl who was staring back at me, her hair was black and very long, it went down to her elbows by the looks of it, her eyes were a deep dark blue, like the sea. I tried to smile at her  
"So who might this beautiful young princess be?"  
She perked up a little and smiles shyly, her voice was very quiet  
"I- I'm Yuki.... Am I r- really a princess?"  
Izaya watched and smiled  
"Of course! A girl as pretty as you must be!"  
Yuki frowned a little, she was going to say something but was interrupted by the nurse who walked in  
"Yuki you should be in your own bed resting and Mr Orihara is ill too" she gave me and Izaya a small soft Smile "I'm sorry if Yuki's been bothering you"  
Izaya put his hand up a little and smiled "it's fine, she's actually stopped me from being bored" he then looks at Yuki "but shouldn't you be going back to your room? Your parents might get worried"  
Yuki was looking down and fiddling with her skirt "no... I don't have parents. I'm here.... B- because I'm getting help to become a real princess a- and go home to my parents in a big castle!" she didn't sound as squeeky and happy like before at the beginning but then perked up a little, the nurse smiled a little  
"That's right Yuki, but could you please go back to your room? The doctor is there to check if you are top marks like usual!"  
Yuki smiled then jumped off the bed, she smiled a big grin at me and Izaya  
"it was nice meeting you Ojisan and Izaya! I'll come back later!!" she then skipped out the room happily  
"Wait..... O- Ojisan?! I'm not old! Cheeky little-"  
"Shizuo." Izaya cut me of but had a small smile on his face, I smiled too and sat down finally the nurse was frowning now  
"I'm very sorry about Yuki.... She's only five and is a patient here. Unfortunately she's an orphan... She'd here until... Well no need to guess... Her treatment's too expensive for the hospital alone to cover"  
Izaya's smile went, so did mine. As much as I hate humans... Letting a kid die is too much... Izaya yawned, I sat up and looked at him "you need to sleep, that kid's took too much energy out of you"  
He nodded then laid down and went to sleep, the nurse left quietly and I just sat there. I watched his monitors continuously beep the same rhythm, Beep.... Beep.... Beep.... Soon it'll be continuous... I closed my eyes and tried to think of other things, take my mind off that.


	10. Yuki

Two months have only passed and we've started to see Yuki less and less... Izaya's getting more ill too... I thought the only person I'd get attached to was Izaya, I've grown attached to Yuki as well. Like... She's my own daughter or something-  
"Shizu?... Shizu?" I jumped out my thoughts to see Izaya weakly waving his hand in front of my face, I sighed  
"sorry, lost in thought. I'm going out for a smoke..." I stood and left the room, I could feel Izaya's eyes on me the whole time. The same feeling I felt when I walked the streets to soon find him messing around like usual, he never changed. I walked past a familiar room that had to be clearly a kids room with all the drawings stuck on the outside of door, it was opened halfway so I looked in as I passed. I stopped and stared in. Yuki... It was Yuki's room... She looks worse than Izaya and... I didn't know so many wires can be connected to a single person at once...  
"We're trying our best to keep her alive... It's hard without the money... I feel sorry for Yuki the most as she has no one to even care for her, she's only got us nurses and doctors now..." The nurse said stood next to me, she looked so sad staring in at Yuki. But what could I do? Only the same... Stare at the poor child and feel sorry for her. The money I get from work is barely enough to afford it and I can't ask Kasuke to lend me some..... I guess.... There's nothing I can do... I turn and head outside. 

After what felt like an hour or so I went back to Izaya's room, passing Yuki's once again... I unconsciously looked into her room. I was stunned. Izaya was in there in his wheelchair, Yuki sat up on the bed smiling happily at him  
"Izaya?... Shouldn't you be in bed?...."  
He turned and looked at me  
"Shizu... Ah... I should be but what're you gonna do about me being out of it now that I am?" he pulled that familiar cocky smirk I hate- I sighed. It's not the same cocky smirk. His face is too thin and pale for it to be his own, he'll never go back to being the same and Ikebukuro will finally find the peace it's looking for...

Izayas POV  
Shizu was right, I should be in my own bed... I felt like my body weighed eighty stone, I was tired and dizzy too. This isn't me... I was light on my feet, energetic and always active, now I can't even sit up without Shizu's or a nurses help... "Izaya we need to get you back to bed." Shizu sighed at me, it wasn't just an annoyed sigh anymore. He sounded tired and sad... Like he knew there was no reason to get angry at me as there was nothing to do if he was.  
"I can't. I'm waiting for someone important" I told Shizu, he finally had a different expression on his face. Confusion.  
"Who? What're you waiting for?"  
"It's a surprise. You have to wait. In the mean time go get yourself some lunch, I'll meet you back in here afterwards" I tried to smile despite being so tired, does it really take this much effort just to smile? It felt more like I was trying to lift weights attached to my cheeks, if that's even possible. Shizu gave me a strange look but left slowly, he hesitated at first, clearly worried about me like always. And soon he'll be happy again but this time it won't be me making him happy...


	11. Yuki Part Two

Shizuos POV  
"Izaya it's getting late now, you must be tired..." I said as I walked into Yuki's room, I looked up to see him smiling at me as he held out a sheet of paper towards me. I took it and read what was written. An adoption paper? With both ours and Yuki's name on- wait.  
"Izaya. Did you...... Is that who you met earlier? To discuss adoption for Yuki?" I looked up at to see him smiling. He looked very tired but I could tell that this smile was genuine... He was actually happy.  
"I've made payments for her treatment as well, it starts tomorrow and the doctor said she'll be better in no time"  
I slowly walked over and hugged him tightly, not showing my face or my true feelings behind all this  
"Shizu?"  
"You've changed...... You've changed so much..... I...... I don't know who you are anymore....." this can't be Izaya... He's too selfless and kind... Izaya would never do something like this. Instead. He would help put the girl out of her misery...

Izayas POV  
"Shizu?..." I said cautiously to Shizuo. Something was off about him, was he not happy?  
"I'm okay... Let's get you to bed Izaya, you need to sleep." He pulled away avoiding eye contact completely. He took me back to my room in complete silence, there wasn't even a sign of happiness coming from him... Maybe I was wrong... He still see's me as the bad guy... Once we were back in my room I climbed into the bed and laid down, Shizu still avoided my eyes.  
"... Shizu..." I broke the awkward silence between us, my voice croaked and was quiet. Before I even realised myself, I was crying... Shizuo finally looked at me and spoke  
"... Why are you crying?" he looked slightly puzzled but mostly guilty. I just shook my head and wiped my cheeks, trying to calm myself down.  
"Go home tonight... I need to get some rest... Sort some things out for Yuki"  
I tried to keep my breathing steady and closed my eyes to stop them from watering. I heard Shizu sigh then a soft click of the door closing.

Shizuos POV  
I led on my bed staring up at the ceiling.  
"I... Have a daughter now... I guess..." I whispered to myself trying to figure everything out. We adopted Yuki. The little girl who became so attached to Izaya. My thoughts were suddenly cut off by my phone ringing, I reach over and pick it up to see who I need to shout at for annoying me. It was the hospital  
"Hello?"  
"Hello, can I speak to Mr. Shizuo Heiwajima please?" A women with a soft tone replied kindly as, I sighed trying to keep my cool  
"That's me. Is there problem?"  
The women paused for a moment  
"I'm a nurse from the hospital. You are Izaya Orihara's next of kin, correct?"  
"... Yes..." all anger I had drained from my body and I was filled with dread. "Has something happened to Izaya?"   
She paused again, her voice was softer  
"I'm afraid so... Izaya's health has dropped increasingly... I'm sorry to say this but he has been induced  
into a coma for the time being..."  
My mind went blank. I couldn't think about anything, say anything. Is... is this it?... the last time I spoke to Izaya, I upset him... made him cry... this is all my fault...   
"Mr. Heiwajima?" The nurse cut off my thoughts, I just hung up the phone and it dropped onto the floor.

Without even realizing it I was at the hospital, stood in front of the door to Izaya's room. Do I go in? Or just stand here like the fucking idiot I am... I slowly reached for the handle, slowly turned and pushed the door open. I heard the sound of the machines straight away. I felt sick. Izaya was hooked up to different wires and machines, it looked like one of Shinra's test subjects... I was crying. Again. All I'm good at is crying now. I've lost Izaya. I'm alone. Again.


	12. Wake Up Izaya

"We're going to try and wake Izaya up for you Shizuo"

The doctor spoke to me in a soft tone. Expecting it to ease the pain I was feeling. It didn't work. From all the pain I've felt to this point has just numbed my emotions. I no longer feel anything. I can't. Even Yuki noticed the change in me... I had to send her away... She can't see me like this nor can she see Izaya in the state he is... 

"Shizuo? We cannot do anything without your consent... What will it be?" The doctor spoke with more concern this time, he placed his hand on my arm trying to comfort me in someway. Of course it didn't work. I just shrugged his hand off me and turned, heading towards the exit  
"Just pull the plug for all I care. He's not coming back. He broke our promise..." My voice cracked in the end, I tried to stay calm but it didn't work. I still broke down into tears, he broke OUR promise.

~couple days later~  
I walked through my apartment entrance for the first time in what felt like months. After I left the hospital I got lost in different bars and alleyways. I wasn't even in Ikebukuro anymore. Everything was spinning... I stumbled to my room and managed to put my phone on charge after the battery died, not like it's useful to me anyway. There's not even pictures of me and Izaya on there...

Before I even realized it I had passed out onto my bed. Only to wake to my phone ringing loudly throughout my apartment, soon enough it stopped. I reached over and squinted at the bright screen in my hand, either I was still drunk or I had over 50 missed calls and over 100 messages from either Shinra or the hospital. My phone rung again and Shinra's name popped up, I hit the green button and put the phone to my ear only to instantly regret it  
"SHIZUO-KUN WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN?!!" he screeched down the phone. I'm surprised a grown man could even make such an inhuman noise like that... I pulled the phone away to hang it up before I heard the next sentence.  
"IZAYA WOKE UP AND IS ASKING FOR YOU"

Wait.

What?

Izaya's awake?... Since when?... The... The doctor said he wasn't going to make it...  
Before I realized it. I was sprinting to the hospital without thinking, I went straight to Izayas room and crashed into the door causing it to fall off its hinges. There was a high pitched scream from a young girl who was sat on the bed. Yuki. She was sat next to Izaya. Izaya who was actually sat up in bed and looking directly at me, a small smile on his face that soon turned to a frown when tears started to spill from his eyes.

Izayas POV  
I thought Shizu-chan had left me... Shinra told me what had happened but there he was, stood in the doorway panting and staring at me with wide eyes. I lifted my arms up slowly and stretched them out towards Shizu-chan who ran to me and hugged me tightly causing the breath in my lungs to escape and suffocate me, I just hugged him back and cried into his chest  
"I love you" I managed to choke out the words.  
Shizu-chan mumbled them back only for me to hear, keeping a tight grip on me. I could feel him shaking slightly, if he let me go, he would lose me, is what I thought he was thinking.

~couple weeks later~  
My health got worser by the day, Shinra had to take care of Yuki for the time being as Shizu-chan was in a worser state then me... He wouldn't leave my side for one second, it was hard to get him to go home just to take a shower and shave... Even getting him to have some food was hard... He knew I wasn't getting any better, only worse.  
"Shizu..." I croaked as I laid in my bed, looking at him with half lidded eyes.  
He lifted his head to look at me, his eyes had dark bags under them and stubble dusted over his jawline and chin.  
"Marry me... Before I go... Marry me... Please" my voice shook as I asked Shizu-chan a question I never thought I'd ever ask. Shizu-chan didn't respond at first. His eyes widened slightly as I asked him the question, his mouth opened slightly and moved but there was no sound.  
"What?..." My vision started to blur, Shizu-chans mouth kept moving but there was still nothing.

Everything slowly went black.

I had passed out.

Again.


	13. It'll Be Okay Shizuo

Shizuos POV  
"He hasn't got long left Shizuo... You need to prepare yourself and start planning... I'm sorry... But once he wakes up, tell him it's still not too late to start treatment..." The doctor told me before leaving the room.

Izaya was getting worse... It may have seemed like he was getting better. But he wasn't. At most, he had only a couple weeks left... I need to try and convince him to change his mind... Somehow... I need to. I need him.

"Hey... I'm sorry..." Izaya woke slowly, his voice croaky like usual whilst he gave me small tired smile.  
"Please... Get the treatment... Yuki needs both her parents... I... I need you..." My voice started to break as I spoke, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I've been strong for too long in front of Izaya. He needs to see how much this has broken me... How much I need him to stay by my side...  
"... I... No..." he replied softly, clearly trying to stay strong.  
I lifted my head quickly and looked at Izaya, does he realize how much this is hurting me?  
"What?... Why?! I need you! Please! Please get the treatment Izaya!" I begged him  
"No Shizu... It's too late..." Izaya closed his eyes, hiding the tears that were brimming and trying to escape  
"But... We... Our wedding... We're supposed to have a wedding... Get married... Live happily together with Yuki..." I choked out the words. Trying to find a way to persuade Izaya to get the treatment but he wouldn't budge, he kept refusing no matter what I said.

Izaya just got worser by the day, I gave up trying to convince him because I knew nothing would work. Yuki came by every couple days only to ask if Izaya was okay but of course he wasn't... I had to lie to her... I just told her that he's a little ill but on the road for recovery. He wasn't though. He was on the road to death, which was slowly coming to an end.


	14. The Wedding

Izayas POV  
"Shizu...... t- tell me.... about our wedding..... the one.... We planned...." I spoke quietly, my voice was raspy and throat dry. Shizu-chan thought for a moment then had a small, soft smile.

Shizuos POV  
"It was beautiful.... you wore a smart black suit and I wore white. Your face was beaming with happiness, nothing could ruin such a happy day for us.... as we said our vowels you couldn't help but giggle as I tripped up on some of the words. I was so nervous, my heart pounded, if I didn't calm down it probably would've sprung out my chest!"  
I laughed and so did Izaya, he closed his eyes and continued to listen  
"Before that when we woke in the morning you were staring at me, still with that big happy smile. I smiled back and said 'morning..... todays the day' your eyes lit up more and whispered 'it's today.... this is going to be the best and happiest day of my life...' you then sprung up in the bed and pulled the covers off me and stood on the bed 'so rise and shine! We have things to prepare!' You laughed and I did too.... I then grabbed you and pulled you back down, I hugged you and held you in my arms 'so lets sleep a little more~ it's too early to prepare everything~' I say as I bury my head into your shoulder, you just chuckle and stay put until I fall asleep again and start to snore. 'Shizu! Now's not the time for sleeping! If you don't get up I'll marry someone else instead...'  
My eyes sprung open and I pinned you down in the bed, you kept laughing and looked up at me with a big smile 'I'm the only one aloud to marry you' I growled, chuckled then smirked. Of course you continued to smile, I leaned down and kissed you. You were still smiling when I pulled away and looked at you then chimed 'that got you up!'  
You crawled from under me and off the bed then started moving around the hotel room collecting things  
'Now! I have to go see Shinra and Celty, they're looking after Yuki for the day whilst we get ready on our own' you turned and left me in the room alone, I got up and ready not long after you had left.

Soon I headed to the venue and looked around, things looked different, we couldn't have the big fancy wedding like others. Instead it was a small room with only a few people and a couple decorations  
'Adien, Mia and Yuki get back here!! Stop messing around with those!' I looked over to see Shinra chasing three children around, they were all laughing and Shinra had a large grin on his face. I simply walked over and picked the three up they continued to laugh and Shinra stood in front of me  
'Thank you Shizuo-kun! I've been trying to get these three to calm down, sit down and wait for you'  
'But dad~ that's boring!' Adien and Mia both wined  
'Yeah! Uncle Shinra you're no fun...'  
Yuki pouted, I laughed and looked down at the three  
'Shinra's fun just not right now because today is a big day and we don't want it to be ruined for Izaya now do we?'  
They all shook their heads and I put them back down, I smiled and whispered to them  
'Hey, if you guys are really good I'm sure Shinra will treat you all to some ice cream later' they perked up and smiled then ran to their seats and sat down. Shinra watched them then looked at me in shock  
'... how did you do that?!'  
I laughed then shrugged my shoulders 'the ice creams on you later' I turned and walked away.

Not long after Celty walked in and spoke to Shinra, he then turned and looked at everyone and clapped his hands loudly 'Izaya-kuns going to be here in a minute! Everyone get ready! So seats please!' I looked over at Shinra, I was speaking with Kasuka before. He sat in his seat then Shinra and Celty did the same, I stood at the front waiting for you to walk through the doors. When you did everyone turned and looked at you, you had a very large grin on your face. You stopped and looked at everyone  
'Oh, good. I am in the right room' you chuckled then looked at me, I wore a pure white suit but my tie was black. You were the opposite; black suite but with a red tie instead. I smiled at you and you were still smiling then walked up and stood in front of me.

Once we said our vowels we signed the papers and everyone cheered and congratulated us. We then headed back to the hotel where we had a small party, we danced and the children ran around happily. Our first dance was beautiful, well you were, you glided around the dance floor happily but I tripped over my feet a couple times and you laughed. I danced with Yuki, you watched us happily. There was food and drinks too, Shinra made a little speech himself from him and Celty. Of course he made a couple jokes that only we would get, but one thing I noticed was the smile on your face never faded. Not for one second throughout the whole day, your eyes shined bright, nothing could wipe that smile off your face, it was like you became invincible.

Once we were back at our room, we changed and I held you in my arms and we fell asleep both smiling happily."  
I looked over at Izaya to see him smiling, he opened his eyes and looked at me. I smiled back, he looked happy but also tired, I leaned over and kissed his head "you should sleep, you look tired" he nodded a little then closed his eyes again and went to sleep.


	15. Keep Smiling Shizuo

___________________________  
Hello everyone!! I'd like to say this before you start, this was my original ending that I was going to use. Not to put too many spoilers in but this one... Isn't so good. I actually cried writing it, lol. Heads up. A main character dies... (You can probably guess who...) BUT. If you don't want the heart breaking and tearful ending then skip this and go to the next. It's a lot sweeter and happier :)

Well. Hope you enjoy!! 

___________________________  
"I.... love you...."  
Shizu-chan cried and sobbed at my side but eventually choked the words  
"I- I love you... too Iza..."  
A tear slowly rolled down my face as I smiled and I drifted off to sleep but to never wake again... hopefully one day... I'll see Shizu-chan again.... smiling happily...

Shizuo's POV  
The heart moniter slowed then finally went to a flat line. I couldn't stop crying... All I could do was cry... I promised Izaya I'll keep smiling for him... I can't... I've finally broke, the one person who could never break me has....  
"Daddy!! Look what the nurse gave me!" Yuki ran into the room, smiling happily and holding a doll in front of her. She stopped and stared at Izaya then looked at me  
"... Daddy.... why're you crying?.... he's only sleeping isn't he?"  
All I could do was hold my arms out to Yuki, she ran over and hugged me and I hugged her back tightly. I continued to cry, I didn't want to but it's all I could do.... Sadness and sorrow just replaced all my emotions  
".... Daddy please don't cry.... you promised him you would keep smiling and be happy.... I'm here too... I'll try to make you happy again daddy."  
It took a while but I calmed down and stopped crying, Yuki had fallen asleep in my lap. She was right... I have to keep smiling for Izaya, I can't break this promise... I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep but soon I did fall asleep myself.

~ One year later ~  
"Yuki, hurry up or I'll lose you..." I stopped walking and looked behind me to see Yuki picking flowers in the grass. She stops and looks up at me with a big grin then runs over to my side  
"Sorry daddy!! I thought these flowers were pretty and could put them on the grave..."  
I smile down at her then crouch down to her side "they're very pretty, just like you" her eyes lit up with happiness and she continued to grin, then jumped up and hugged me  
"Thank you daddy! Do you think he will like them?"  
I pulled away and looked at Yuki with a small smile  
"I'm sure he'll love them, he's probably watching us right now and smiling. His prayer came true, I'm happy and that's because of you"  
Yuki continued to smile at me then ran ahead "come on daddy! You told me to hurry up but you're the one being slow now!" She laughed and continued to run, I stood and ran after her  
"Hey! Don't go without me!" I caught up with Yuki and lifted her up, she squealed and giggled. I sat her on my shoulders and took us to Izaya's grave.

Once we were there I put her back on the ground, she gently placed the flowers she picked in front of the light grey tombstone that we stood in front of "these are for you, daddy told me you would like them. I think they're very pretty, I hope you think so too" Yuki spoke softly, not in the happy chime she usually does but there was still some there. I stood there and looked at the name engraved onto the stone... His name engraved in the stone... I tried to stop myself from crying and smiled "hey..... I always say this when I come to see you but.... I really miss you Iza... I hope you're having fun wherever you are now. Ikebukuro's not the same without you... It's too quiet, not even making my own commotion is enough to make it loud again" I teared up more then looked at Yuki "Yuki, how about you tell him about your first day of school? You've started middle school now" she perked up then sat down next to his grave and started talking about many friends she's made, what lessons she's doing and that it's a lot more fun than she thought. I sat too and stared at his grave, it's been a year... a year since the day I lost you... I wish I could say I'm happy but... I'm not... there's still a small crack in my heart that's leaking, Yuki tried to fix it but she can't fix it all... you told me once that once something's broken it can be fixed but not completely... there'll always be cracks or it'll never be the same. That's my heart... unless I got you back... I'll always be broken...

___________________________

So..... This is the last chapter.... would you like some tissues?... I enjoyed writing it... Slightly.

Anyway, thank you all so much for reading this!! I really hope you enjoyed it! I'd love some feedback? Again, thank you so so much for reading this!!


	16. Keep Smiling Shizuo (alt end)

___________________________  
Hello again everyone!! XD  
So this is the alternative ending. Aka. A happier one. It's similar to the last. Well. Some of it's the same but there's no death :)

I hope you enjoy this!!

___________________________  
"I.... love you...."  
Shizu-chan cried and sobbed at my side but eventually choked the words  
"I- I love you... too Iza..."  
"....... I........." I hesitated. I didn't want to say it. I'm a coward. If I tell him I want to live he'll hate me. He'll see me as a coward and leave me. I've put him through so much pain... I know it's not too late. The doctor said so...  
"... W- what is it?.... Iza?...." Shizuo looked at me, there was a slight glimpse of hope through his tear filled eyes. 

 

Shizuo's POV  
~ One year later ~  
"Yuki, hurry up or I'll lose you..." I stopped walking and looked behind me to see Yuki picking flowers in the grass. She stops and looks up at me with a big grin then runs over to my side  
"Sorry daddy!! I thought these flowers were pretty and could give them to him"  
I smile down at her then crouch down to her side "they're very pretty, just like you" her eyes lit up with happiness and she continued to grin, then jumped up and hugged me  
"Thank you daddy! Do you think he will like them?"  
I pulled away and looked at Yuki with a small smile  
"I'm sure he'll love them"  
Yuki continued to smile at me then ran ahead "come on daddy! You told me to hurry up but you're the one being slow now!" She laughed and continued to run, I stood and ran after her  
"Hey! Don't go without me!" I caught up with Yuki and lifted her up, she squealed and giggled. I sat her on my shoulders and headed to our destination.

"There he is daddy!!" Yuki pointed at a figure sat on a bench looking over at the beach. I set Yuki down off my shoulders and watched her run towards the figure, I followed her behind slowly.  
The figure turned and stood, a smile plastered on his face as he saw both of us.  
"I got you these!!" Yuki said as she held up the flowers to Izaya  
"You did? They're so pretty!! Thank you!" He took them and hugged her tightly  
I watched them with a small smile on my face, Izaya still wore a beanie even though his hair had mostly grown back. I walked over to him and kissed his cheek, he continued to smile and turned to look at me.  
"Ready for tomorrow?" he grinned  
"Yeah" I smiled back at him  
He lifted his hand and gently rested it on my cheek, a softer smile on his face as he stared at mine  
"Thank you for keeping your promise" he whispered to me softly  
"Of course"

___________________________

So. This is the alternative ending. What did you think? I'm not sure myself... It is shorter than the original... I tried not to rush it and make it sweet(?) idk. This was an unplanned thing/something I did not know how to do...   
Well anyway! Thank you all so much for reading this!! I really hope you enjoyed it!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is My first proper Fanfic. I hope you like it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
